CHAPTER 44

previously, 

i got lost lama i was searching for my corn-dog and i tweeted that, few minutes later salman called asking me where the hell i am lol. i got my corn-dog, finally. lama i saw that last person i would ever think of. 

i saw turki. yea my brother turki.

turki: lina! what are you doing here with him!

me: umm

turki: e7ke

me: i got lost

turki: and?

we explained tom him what happened. he laughed. i was about to die!

turki: ana w el 3yaal raay7een net3sha teje? *talking to salman*

salman: mata?

turki: ana raay7 a5eth syaarte n6la3 sawa?

salman: ok 

turki: yalla 

the three of us walked home lama w9alna. turki laughed at me w he actually was cool about salman. anyway salman waited for my brother down in the parking lot and we went up. he took his car keys w i stayed all alone in the apartment. 

i shouldn't be talking to salman. i feel like cheating not just on majed no, on myself too because i still love majed and i think of him every minute of my day. so i decided not to talk to salman anymore. 

i texted him: "i'm sorry salman i can't talk to you anymore, what happened gabl shwy was a sign from god w i don't want to ruin your friendship with my brother. i had fun talking to you. take care."

he replied: "sure i'll do anything you want. you take care as well..."

i sat on the balcony enjoying the weather, listening to music. 

to make you feel my love by kriss allen played, the song elle majed told me once to listen to. i start looking to the ring on my finger, the one majed gave it to me? yea i still wearing it and i start remembering everything. 

i tear came out my eye. 

i won't cry. i won't cry! i told myself that but i didn't listen to myself. i cried myself out till my head throbbed, and till my eyes were red. i rested my head back on the chair and i fell asleep. i opened my eyes and saw both haifa and dana sitting on the chairs next to me.

haifa came closer to me and rested her hand on my forehead.

haifa: liin laish naayma hna?

me: i don't know

haifa: whats wrong?

me: ...

haifa: you were saying something while you were asleep w your eyes are red

me: men mata ento hna?

haifa: umm lama we came back we searched for you and we found you here naayma 

dana: yea so we stayed here on the balcony 3ashan el jw

haifa: you were saying something

me: i don't know

haifa: you were saying i can't forget about him something like that

me: i don't know what you're talking about

dana: you didn't tell her?

haifa: tell me what?

i couldn't say a word. i looked at dana and i still had tears in my eyes. she told her what happened with us, me and majed. she kept asking me about what and when did all this happen? and i told her when and there was no reason for him to leave.

haifa: liin i'm sorry

me: its ok

haifa: i have to tell you something and i'm really sorry law a3rf ketha 7ay9eer ma kent 7kait

i sat facing her.

me: what?

haifa: fe mara your phone rang w i answered it

me: ok?

haifa: it was majed w he asked me laish ma kente trde

dana: ok aish da5al?

haifa: i told him fe waa7d metgademlk w you were pissed 

i teared up and yelled at her.

me: why you didn't tell me that before?

haifa: i..

dana: 3ashan ketha he walked away! scared of getting hurt

i went inside to our bedroom and texted him:

"majed"

i waited for an hour for him to text me back but he didn't so i called. mgafal, i couldn't reach him so i called over and over again, still mgafal. yemkn he lost his phone? yemkn he changed his number? i don't know. i was thinking about all of that. 

i bbmed nouf.

me: "nouf!"

nouf: "what? :|"

me: "3aade law i asked you a favor?"

nouf: "yea of course -_-"

me: "can you check in your brother's phone for majed's number? shoofe etha nafs hatha 05********"

nouf: "whats wrong!"

me: "please can you do it for me?"

nouf: "i don't know :("

me: "NOUF PLEASE!"

nouf: "ok i'll come up with something"

me: "thank you :')"

nouf: "aish 9aayr?"

and i told her aish elle 9aayr.

nouf: "omg haifa meskeena!"

me: "yea she didn't know"

nouf: "ok don't worry i'll check his number for you"

me: "i love you <3"

i waited for her the whole night, i was waiting for her to reply then i fell asleep. its almost 8:00 am lama i woke up, she already talked to me. 

nouf: "hey sorry t2a5art 3laik bs i was waiting for my brother to fell asleep to steal his phone"

nouf: "PING!!!"

nouf: "shklk nemte"

nouf: "its the same number you gave me"

nouf: "sorry :("

nouf: "talk to me lama you see this"

you know that smile elle you smile it because you don't know what to do anymore? i smiled like that. i tried to call him again bs lsa mgafal. it just broke me even more.

its the summer. my vacation where i supposed to be having lots of fun. but i didn't.

we got back to riyadh. awal ma we reached my house i went upstairs and into my room. it feels as if i hadn't been here in a long time. 

the summer passed and i've decided something. i'll drop this course. at first mama said no w lama i went to baba w i told him that i don't feel good w some tears came along with it, he said its ok for me to drop the semester.

our anniversary came w i kept calling and texting hoping that i'll get an answer from him but yet, i didn't. and one of the days nouf called me to tell me that majed is leaving tonight to california. 

i lived a very tough months. i wasn't sleeping or eating well, i lost 10 kilos, my whole entire body was only skin and bones. i cry every night lama i fall asleep holding a picture oh him on my phone.

i've changed. i don't laugh like i used to. i don't go out with my friends. i don't go visiting. all i did was sitting on the edge of my bed thinking about him.

the semester was over and i had to go back to collage. i couldn't focus on anything, i go 3ashan my family bs. 

i'll turn nineteen in few days. and all i was praying for was majed. my friends and my cousins surprised me before my actual birthday. they brought me cakes and gifts, i love them <3. 

11:50 pm

i was sitting in my room and i'll be turning nineteen in 10 minutes. i sat on my balcony w was receiving a lot of birthday wishes, blessings, voice notes and everything. lama i noticed a pin message icon showing. i entered my inbox and i teared up of what i saw.